It Started Way Back When

The path to me becoming the man and the father I am started a long time ago. I can remember being at home in Newberry, OH with my dad listening to The Parliament turned way up on the turntable singing "If you hear any noise, it's just me and the boys, hit me(groovin), you gotta hit the band".

I learned from the best if you ask me, he taught me that it was okay to cry if you were in pain, how to be humble in the presence of others, how to be kind and what common courtesies were when with a woman. While talking to my mother, she was actually the first woman he showed me how to treat, always open the door for her, never let her walk on the outside facing the street and most importantly always treat the ladies in your life the way you would want your mother and sister treated.

I had so many fears the closer we got the Asher being born, what if I couldn't do even half the job my father did on me of installing a foundation of a great man? I knew the things that I held dear, the moments I shared with my dad and I want to duplicate those moments for Asher and I. I want to see him smile as I watch him play in the yard, laugh together as I tell him he cheats at playing G.I Joe, teach him to ride a bike and teach him to be kind.

Most of my fears seemingly melted away the moment I saw his little frowning face, emotions came over me but there were entirely too many at once. They simply manifested themselves as a crooked little smile as I realized that I was now a father, responsible for cultivating his common courtesies and teaching him to be a better man than I will ever be.

My moment of clarity came just a few days ago, as Yaunna got ready I was responsible for getting him calmed down. I turned to what I know best because I have so many memories of doing the same with my father. I turn on some music and we begin to jam, he settles down and looks at me as I sing to him, BAM like a well placed sniper shot it hits me all at once. I take him to Yaunna and I was just a crying mess, I'm now able to do what my dad did with me growing up and it feels good.

He was a blessing a long time coming for us and I can't imagine my life without him. We are going to disagree, but still agree to love each other, I will be the worst dad ever in his eyes at some point, but he will realize that I did everything for him. I may not be the father that every child needs, but for Asher I am going to be the greatest of all time.