Woman! Where Is My Super Suit?

Well let me tell you, when I found out I was going to be a dad, my heart swelled with joy and I envisioned me flying over the city with my chiseled chin, abs of steal, flawless smile and locs flapping in the wind.

Yeah that is far from the truth, instead I'm more like a baggy of warm pudding walking slowly trying to find a way to pee while holding a grumpy newborn(haven't figured that out yet still). I mean yes I still have my superhero delusions from time to time, I'm just a different kind of superhero. I can't leap a building, outrun a bullet, see through steel or even have super breath. Instead I can ear poop from 3 rooms away, can change a diaper in 6 seconds flat, make a hell of a breakfast, lunch or dinner, soothe a crying baby all while playing God of War and playing fetch with the dog.

Yeah I may not get the publicity of a Will Smith, Barack Obama or some other famous dads, but I don't need it. I'm my own type of dad and husband, I'm super in my own right (walking around bobbing my head a la Richard Pryor saying "Yeah we bad, mmm hmmm"), my wife knows she can count on me for anything and my son knows the same. I got my kudos from the man that taught me to be a man, nothing feels better than my own father, my first and only role model to tell me "I'm proud of you and you are doing a great job". Oh yeah if I was the crying type I may a shed a tear, but we all know crying makes your insides moldy and smell like mildew.

Yeah so what I traded my washboard stomach, flawless smile and cape for a brand new outfit that consist of a keg stomach, wife beater and bags under my eyes. I dare you to tell me I'm not a superhero in my own right or tell my wife and son I'm not the superhero they always read about in comics.

So to the naysayers I yell "Up, up and away!!" as I slowly get off the couch from a two hour sleep interval to comfort my son and assure my wife we are the greatest superhero tandem every created.

What's your super power?